its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
