so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dignity is for republicans.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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