I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
