No, you can still breathe under the balls.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
