Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Vodka?
Forever.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
