Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
