this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
