how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
