Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
