You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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