I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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