You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
