it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
