Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
