It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I understand Curling. That high.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize