I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
