i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
