I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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