'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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