That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
