he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
