hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
