He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
