She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
This house was built for laser tag.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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