It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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