I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
