they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
