He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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