I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
