it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
