these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
