You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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