We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
