Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
