My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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