I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
