yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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