When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
