halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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