but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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