Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
