me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
