I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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