apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
