I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
