I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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