Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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