stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize