I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
