I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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