Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
