Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
