Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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