we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
