I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Randomize
