who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
