i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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