i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
