fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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