I skipped work to stalk him.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
